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Taranuka

Katsumoto Sword Alive!
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First of all, I wish to say to everyone, Taranuka here and I want to say I apologize for the sudden absence some of you might've noticed from me.


To start with, I was gone because my laptop was in the shop. You see, the night of New Years, I was in the midst of a cold that resulted in sneezing fits. My mother threw a tissue box at me. She threw it in a one-in-a-million shot and popped the 'R' key off my laptop keyboard like a damn Olympian. I was insolvent, had to take it in the following day. I stayed up all night just watching it after several futile attempts at fixing it myself. It was a week before I could get it back.


I said my piece, but I will add I am deeply sorry to all that were affected by my absence and wish I had other ways to tell you all of my sudden disappearance. I will do my best to make sure it never happens again.


I hope that's good enough for you all, again, I'm deeply sorry for the worry I've cause and I wll try not to let it happen again.


Taranuka, signing off.

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New Chapter

4 min read

Hello everyone, Taranuka here with a new journal. And..... it's a big one.


A new chapter has opened up in my life, I got a job accepted at a local..... local being 20 minute drive into an industrial park, food manufacturing plant here in my city. I started the first round of orientation and begin my second soon. Though..... it hasn't been smooth sailing. In fact, it's been a bit..... rocky.


I attended the first round of orientation and found myself feeling a deep pit in my stomach throughout the day. Not only did I feel totally out of place with the other attendees, but my sleeping hasn't improved and it won't improve over my training.


The pit feeling. Well, it felt like my chest was compressing in on itself as one of the management talked regarding th company and what it does. We were.... given a small tour of the place to get a feel for the facility and that's when..... it started. Nothing major, but I truly felt despair in that moment on the tour. We made our way from the trailer outside the building to the inside and it got extremely loud. Like..... a thousand trains blowing their horns in a very inharmonious chorus that took a lot of energy from me to not instinctually cover my ears to block out the noise. That pit feeling never went away even as we left the noise, it followed me back to the trailer where we had our lunch.


Which brings me to the next point. My training. Apart from the hazardous fact my sleep schedule has been royally buggered due to my own fault binging video games and just in general not feeling a need for sleep until the crack of dawn, I learned my shift (C-shift or afternoons from 3PM-11PM EST) doesn't have a specific trainer for those specific hours. I'm to choose between extremes in order to get my two weeks of training. Morning shift from 7AM-3PM or evening shift from 11PM-7AM. The weight bogged on me through my entire lunchtime and into closing as they released us.


When I left the building and stood in the front parking lot, I took a box of lunch with me along with some of the drinks because they said they'd be ultimately thrown out. No benches or seats that looked remotely comfortable so I waited by a bike rack of some kind for my ride back home. As I stood waiting, several employees were either coming in for their shifts or going on break. Those on break were all..... smoking, leaving their refuse on the ground while I waited. Suddenly a burst of wind knocked down some of my papers from the folder I received detailing the rules and various procedures of the company as well as many other items that would be useful to a new hire. I scrambled to pick up what had blown around and that's when the pit feeling hit home.


My ride came and on the way I just...... I just felt like screaming. Screaming and crying. I felt so helpless and stupid, I feel helpless and stupid. Dreading going back there. The out of the way location, the big imposing building, the noise, the employees wearing hair nets, hard hats, boots and masks. It makes me feel like I made a terrible decision to work here. But I can't leave. I can't back away now. I'd be disappointing my parents if I walked away from this.


They say, and many others say, it gets easier. But..... what if I never lose this feeling working there? Will this affect my performance? Everything there brought up so many red flags in my mind, but I can't leave now. My mom bought me steel-toed non-slip shoes and a long-sleeve shirt until my uniform comes, expensive purchase, I can't walk away when they're investing in me to be self-sufficient.


I feel so lost and empty, I feel scared above all else. I don't know what to do, who to talk to. It feels.... wrong to discuss this, but I can't bottle it. I'm just so afraid.


That'll.... that'll do for the journal. Sorry, I just..... I needed to get that off my chest. I will do my best going forward and will make the best of the situation.


Wish me luck.


Taranuka, out.

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Holy hell everyone. Um, sorry, Taranuka here, finally back with another journal.


So um...... well, things took a turn, my computer, my laptop, died. Not like crashed and wouldn't turn on, but its casing cracked and snapped. So..... yeah, I'm on my mothers old model laptop trying to pick things back up. I got Chrome back up and subsequently dA, but my pictures and documents are still on the old computer. I plan on getting those back homefully soon. Oh and the computer I'm using, the battery is a bit bad. It won't stay on unless it's plugged in, but fear not, I'm getting a new battery soon. So no need to worry.


But yes, I'm back, sorry to worry you all.


Taranuka, out.

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Some news.

2 min read

Hello everyone, Taranuka back with another journal.


First lemme say Happy Halloween and happy Día de Muertos for those that celebrate that. Hope it was a good one and a safe one. What I want to say now is a bit familiar to some of you if you recall my problems back in the tail end of 2020.


I have to get my computer in for repairs starting tomorrow, or today, November 5th, depending on who reads this. Why? Well, in edition to the various cosmetic damages, scratches, scuffs and the minor hinge break, the battery in my laptop is going bad. How you might ask? Well, put it simply, it shuts off. Kaput. No flare, just black screen, no power until I plug it in. Normally it's supposed to remind me to plug it in at a certain threshold, which I set at 10% for battery saver mode, and charge. But lately the threshold has been steadily climbing for the past few days. First it was 13%, then it was 17%, now it shuts itself off at 22% power remaining. The issue I have with this one compared to my old computer, is this laptop doesn't have a removeable battery, I can't replace it myself and believe me, I would love to.


So I called the local computer repair shop in my town and they said they'd take a look at it. That means, I'm leaving my computer with them for an unknown period of time. Hopefully it won't be long, but if you wonder why I'm not replying, then there's your answer. I hope it'll be resolved quickly, but you never know these days.


Not gonna sugarcoat it guys, I'm terrified. There are so many things that can go wrong or the repair shop could just outright say they might take longer or worse. I'm trying to be optimistic, but I feel massive anxiety if I don't have my computer with me. Luck be willing, it won't take all week.


Alright, I gave you all the warning, I will not be able to answer any replies passed a certain time, at least until I can make another journal. I hope you all stay safe and wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.


Taranuka, out.

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26th Birthday

1 min read

Well here's to another year around the sun, 26 years I've been on this blue ball we call Earth. Let's see what it has in store for me going forward from today. Happy 26th birthday me.

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